APROKO REPORT ~ Naija Tori

The CEO of the social media site Facebook, just land Nigeria. Na just yesterday him and his wife dey greet Pope for Rome and today he touch down for Lagos. He say he come see how our programmers dey do, and all dem soso people wai dey try to use computer chop. This na the first time for Mark Zuckerberg full-life wen he don ever see West Africa. Men! I no know about you but my head don expand from dis visit sha. Me I no sure say he go see anything em never see before, web-design and all those small small things. I just hope say him fit tish us new skills because our school too dey tish non-sense and big gramma. You go see professor wai no know anything but to confuse you with big big oyinbo gramma. Everybody wai meet am say dey like am because the man just dey simple and em na billionair for dollars. Related Post: Mark Zuckerberg return Nigeria for presidential homage Mark Zuckerberg press pounded-yam for 'mama put' Cha! Mark Zuckerberg wear ...

‎President Mohammadu Buhari don send warning give the Niger Delta Avengers say make dem talk now or him go show them pepper! He say if dey no agree to talk, he go treat dir 4ke up de way he dey do Boko Haram. In case you no know; The Niger Delta Avengers na militant group way dey show say dey go school. Since dem dey blow up pipelines in protest, dey never kill anybody, they just dey post real words for correct English about waiten dey pain dem. Unlike Boko Haram wai no know why dem dey kill people. But Buhari talk say dey go get the medicine of Boko Haram if dem no stop and come talk with government. Ei dey clear say Buhari never find oil for North as he dey search before. So now ei don put eye again for the Niger Delta oil because na from dir 80% of the country money dey come (even as the very small community wai get this oil dey live in poverty).‎ Dos small community no get light while the oil for thier land dey power big big cities and even Ghana. Even if we ove...

Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Facebook, visit Pope Francis for Vatican City in Rome, Italy. He kon present a toy wai look like waitn he plan to create. The model na of a craft wai go bring internet signal to places wai no get internet at all at all. The craft go dey use solar energy to work so ei no need fuel. ‎Zuckerberg say him wan connect people wai no get internet, say that na important matta for ham. Since dey born me; I never see this guy wear suit before. Even wen he visit my brother Obama for white house, he still dey wear one gray polo like dat. He even tell the pope say him and his wife Priscilla respect am wella. This na sign say the man like or respect this pope for-real‎. They guy totally wash the pope for one post where he say na hornor to meet the pope . Related Post: Mark Zuckerberg return Nigeria for presidential homage Mark Zuckerberg Don Land Nigeria Mark Zuckerberg press pounded-yam for 'mama put'

‎The 63 years old champ die for the place where person jam her with car. She na big name for cycling and don win many competitions, awards and ‎rep. Even when she was 58, she dey beat younger competitors she no gree retire. This na case of person wen die doing waitn dem love pass. Just like Moses who love God and na God kill am.

Na Rivers State again o, the capital of cultist and political craze! Yesterday, the people of River State kon dey feel unsafe as news of de murder of Ken Atsuete, who na popular lawyer wai dey sometimes represent APC interest. You no need to be T.B Joshua to know say na dis yeye politicians don start again. Dey kill de man for him own house after dey shoot am plenty times.‎ He currently dey for mortuary of the University of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital‎. As police don open investigation for the matta.

  One black American guy hear say somebody dey wire him girlfriend for hotal, nahim he carry em phone bust inside the room kon dey video d em. The bros warn am say "I go shot you o!", de guy say "who shotting epp?!". So the boy just fire am on camera. The guy ko n dey shout anyh ow because of 'menstrual' pain. This one happen for Facebook LIVE as all him online firends d ey watch .

Oluwasegun Benson, the CEO of Phosguard Fumigant Limited (which na NGO) done partner with Lagos government for a new program called, operation ‘Kill rats, make money’. The idea be; dem go pay you for every 20 rats you submit. The chemical company know how dem go handle the dead rats so ei no go cause disease. This ‘ Kill Rats, Make Money’ project na tactic to drive lessa fever comort from Lasgidi.   I no wan make una kon say dis one no be serious business o, as research say deiris over 2 billion rodents in Lagos. And because I be shape guy, I done dey make plans to import 12 million more rats so at least I go make minimum of N 60m naira (sixty million naira) if na 100 naira per 20 rats but ei go pass that amount sha. You make money as you do good. I thank the government for this youth empowerment program. Payment go start next month!

LELO HEX na de name of one company wai say dir condom no fit break. Dis people gather engineers to make sure say dem go make a condom wai no fit break. Na the first time for de whole world wen anybody don make dis kind of condom. This na good news to those bros wai day karawa wen dem don high finish, so dey no fit know when condom don break, only to find out later say dey don catch STI or don give person belly. Like one time wen one bros go meet ashawo, he con reject her Gold Circle say him come with him own, so the ashawo use style put Vaseline for her thing (you know say vasinline dey break condom). As dat condom break, she provoke call her co-worker, they round the guy up until he pay 6k for bringing condom wai break. If say he get this kind LELO HEX robber, he for nor enter one chance.   Ei no matta if your toto or him brorkus get needle, dis condom na unbreakable   The good thing about dis be say, if the condom break and you dey for Ame...

Yeye Everywhere! For the website of Niger Delta Avenegers, dem post one kan yeye message wen no get head or tale title: " NDA IS READY WHEN NIGERIA GOVERNMENT IS READY ". Waitn that mean be say, dem dey use style take beg government say they no want war, make dem talk how everybody go get waitn dey need (justic). Nahim Nigerian Military kon release another yeye report say, while dem dey train for Rivers State for one operation 'Crocodile Smile', say dey kill 5 militants and catch 23 other suspect . But the picture wai dey release no con make sense at all. Em be like say dey nab university cultist con dey claim say na militants. See the mumu weapons military say militants dey carry. May be na psychlogical warfare plus government properganda. This na how real militant weapon look like: Nigeria military and Niger Delta Avengers, una try. Make una stop all the forming sitdown settle.

You know how condition of the economy dey and how everything dair, how some heartless governors never pay state civil servants for months and everybody dey hustle twice as much to get half of waiten we dey earn before before? Internally Displace People IDP (dem soso people wai Boko Haram force run commort for their village‎), them wait for government manna and em no show. Omor dey provoke say which kind thing be this? Hungry man na angry man . D ey block road make everybody know say them never chop food. Na food dey want, so dey go go sht for toilet and sleep. The thing bad sotay motor no fit move front or move back (HOLD-UP on a hot Thusday)! Many of the stranded people wan just pass go where dem dey go, no be say dem dey stay for Brono State or anything like dat, na passa byes, some na strangers who dey find dir own daily bread.     Dem dey tell the reporter wen take the photo (wen day up) say, "we never belly-full for weeks and now we no see even th...

Sometimes I dey wonder how many thins wan kill person for this Africa. You know say that mosquitos way dey bit us now, no be the same as the once way dey bit our ancestors? So the the next time you stay for outside and allow them bit you anyhow ( ESPECIALLY PREGNANT MAMAS ), just remember all these foto:     This one wa i our government allow polio to come back, na Zika dem wan protect you from?

Yesterday (24th August 2016), one villager for Badiko village along Gumau road, Toro LGA of Bauchi State, go report to soildiers say two mumu boys done hamma and eh no trust where them get their money. Na Army wolai both of the suspect.   They done hamma finish but den still dey hide TOGETHER so that make am easy for Army to round dem up, even though some of them burn nitrol before dem catch them. The 'Big for Nothing man' wai dey for middle na Jibrin who be sales-person of highness substances and na their N 430k ransom money be that on display. Small boys with 'big boys brecelet'. See, na small boys. Anyway, well done to the troops of 33 Artillerty Brigade of Nigerian Army for dir professional conduct for the bust. I hope say them go change their way after prison because sometimes, prison dey make people worst.

In case you dey wounder, we for AprokoReport don confirm say he no dey among the missing Chiboke girls. Him na hustler. Civ i l - Defence Officers wolai Hausa-fulani man wen dress like chick with hijab and pure water breast. The bros get woman voice and him dey blush for the camera This guy put pure water as breast, makeup and hijab, con dey travel go Kaduna. You know as things hard and some men still like to kolo for women, he think say na good idea until dem catch am.   I no go lie, the guy fine sha, but all he need na good beauty cream and him voice naturally thin like girl own.   If you see am, he day smile self. Like say he no send any body message.   For the video, he they tell them say he dey travel to visit eh sister for Kaduna and nothing more o. But me I con dey fear say; hope that him sister no be him brother way dey also dress like woman. I just hope say him sister go wear hijab and cover face come bail am for police station. Ne...

Remember those music wen rain before before “tell me what you want, what you really really want” and “viva forever I”ll be waiting”. If you you no remember, I go forgive you because e don ta y (that time wen Tupac still dey for top 10 hits). The (Saint Lauren) boots and the 'polythene bag' wai she call dress con join. Those Spice Girls music group don already grow became mama, and see this one wen dem call Melanie B still dey show body like say she no get mirror for her house. That cloth na mad designer cloth by Yousef Aljasmi, all dat shinei-shinei na jewellery. For her mind she dey wear designer cloth. The good thing be say, you no need neckleace or pant to rock this jewelry-encrusted jumpsuit! If this na my mama, I go shame for her. A mugu at 40 is a mugu for life.